#2226
"Dear Lita42,"
Date: 06/01/2002
From: Tork_110
gramps: What are you doing?
Tork: I'm writing a letter.
gramps: Can I help? I was around when they invented letters.
Tork: YOU WERE NOT!! Now, quiet, this is really important.
"I'm really sorry about what I said about you. I heard about what you did at MSTBlanca and thought you were really evil. I hadn't had the time to get to know you much, and when I heard the rumors (from PM's evil henchmen - when will I ever learn?) I jumped to the wrong conclusions. Please forgive me.
P.S. Please forgive the lateness of my apology. What I did was wrong and I wanted to find just the right way to apologize. Included with this letter is a extra large pixie stix, a U2 album, and a DVD copy of Harry Potter. I'm not trying to bribe you, I just want to say I'm sorry.
P.P.S. I wish I could apologize in person, but I am currently unable to."
Tork: There! That should do it. (mails everything) Now, what were we doing?
Rimmi: Saving you're best friend.
Tork: Lita's in trouble!?!?!
<gramps hits Tork with his walker. He deserves it anyway.>
~~~~~~~~~~~~<Later, back at Diabolik's Lair>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lita42: Yikes!!! (quickly looks at the ceiling)
Lita442: What?!
Lita42: I'm glad you came over to keep me company, but what are you doing?
Lita442: You told me to make myself at home.
Lita42: Don't you think you could do that while wearing clothes?
<442 is upset. She's very sensitive.>
Lita442: Fine! (leaves)
Lita42: It's so hard keeping the other clones in line.
Lita2780: Hey Lita!
Lita42: It's Lita42!!
Lita2780: Did you ever hear the joke about the dumb blonde?
<Lita2780 tells the joke, sorta. She tells it wrong, her timing is off, and she giggles the whole time.>
Lita2780: Of course, I didn't get the joke, but those guys who told it to me seemed to think it was funny. *giggle*
Lita42: *sigh* 2780, do you want to play with my necklace. (That blonde joke is soooo offensive.)
Lita2780: Ooooh! Shiny!
Lita42: Yes, real shiny. Here you go, and stay away from the kitchen.
<Lita442 returns fully clothed. She hands a package to Lita42.>
Lita442: This just arrived. It's for you, and it's from Tork.
Lita42: Really? Thanks. I know just what to do with this.
<Lita42 turns to her right and immediately drops the package in the trash.>
Lita42: aaah! I feel better now.
Lita2780: Other Lita!! Look what I found!! I'm going to make a new necklace out of it.
Diabolik: MMhmhmh hmmhm.
Tork_110
is saying to himself "Please don't screw up continuity" over and over again.
#2227
[Lita is sooooo worried]
Date: 06/01/2002
From: Carmelita9000
...........................................................
[So are Evil Mike, STG, Jimmy Mobius, and Cara. But you know how these things go. I'm writing the reply, so....]
Lita: Awww, geez! Ninjas! We're gonna get killed by ninjas!
EM: [Staring at Lita] Well, at least I can die looking at you...
Lita: Awww, Mike! That's so sweet!
Cara: Yeah, you're hot!
Lita: Huh? [She notices that everybody is staring] The hell? [she looks down] Awwww, crud! I'm still wearing this dress!
STG: It's a nice dress!
Lita: No it's not! I only got it for Evil Mike! I meant to change before we met anybody else! [Lita is on the verge of tears] Aw, man! I'm gonna die dressed like a three dollar whore!
EM: Oh, Lita! You don't look anything like a three dollar whore!
Lita: I... I don't?
EM: No way! I'd pay at least seven dollars! Ow!!1!! Lita, why'd you hit me?? It was a complem-- OW!!1!!!
[Lita hits Evil Mike some more, as the ninjas close in and the ass-kicking begins.]
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Poor 2780! She just hasn't been the same since she tripped on that rug and fell down those stairs...
2780: Lita! Lita! Look what I found!
Lita: Yeah... That's a very nice ballpoin pen-- Hey! Get out of my tagline!
2780: But it's so cool! Look what I found out! I press this thingy on this end... and then that poiny part goes in and out on the other end!
Lita: Yeah... That's a very clever discovery! Here's a cookie! Now go back to Diabolik's lair and eat it quietly, ok? You're not supposed to be in my tagline! It messes up continuity!
2780: Wow! Ok! Thanks! [She doesn't know what "continuity" means, but she has a cookie so she doesn't care. Carmelita2780 stuffs the cookie in her mouth and runs off]
Lita: That poor dear...
#2228
Part 3: Six Eyes Crying....
Date: 06/01/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
or...Spilt Over Crying Milk
(Rimmi, Tork, Gramps, and McMahon are standing outside the clinic. Rimmi puts her arms on her hips and strikes a dramatic pose as lightning crackles in the background)
Rimmi: Damn, I look cool.
Tork: Yeah, that's nice. Could we go in before I rust?
Gramps: That's the least of our worries, you human lightning rod!
McMahon: Well, this is where I kill you, I'm afraid.
Rimmi: Yeah....what?
(McMahon poins to an army of robots, not the Tork kind, more like the Crush, Kill, Destroy kind)
Tork: That's not fair. We trusted you.
McMahon: You don't know anything about evil doctors and their lackies, do you?
Tork: I never did learn about that, no.
McMahon: Ah geez, look, it was all a setup. And now you need to die. Do you follow?
Gramps: Pretty much.
Rimmi: There's still one part I don't get.
McMahon: What?
Rimmi: The us dying part. It makes no sense.
McMahon: It makes perfect sense.
Rimmi: No, no. See you planned this all wrong. See, I could kill you first. Then, where would your plan be?
McMahon: Good poin. So I guess you could go in and....hey, wait a minute. You're trying to trick me.
Rimmi: Not trying. Succeeding.
(McMahon looks up to see that Tork isn't with the rest of the group anymore)
McMahon: Oh crap, boss isn't going to like this. C'mon guys, change of plans. (McMahon and the robots run inside)
Rimmi: You can come out now, fraidy cat.
Tork: (Out from behind a bush) I had to go!
The bespectacled Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
Post Narc x3
Tork, don't make any moose references!
#2229
Jimmy: Ninjas, huh?
Date: 06/04/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
Part 3 Chapter 2...................................
Cara: Looks like it.
STG: Why the hell are you talking like that? They're right there! You can see them! Ninjas! ((Counts on his fingers) This many!!!
Jimmy: Because of this. (What follows is a very impressive fight between Jimmy and the ninjas. He's singlehandidly taking them on and winning)
Evil Mike: Lemme at 'em!!!!!!! (Lita tugs at his shirt) What the hell do you want?
Lita: I'm um....I'm scared and I need you to "comfort" me.
Evil Mike: Awwww, but I want to kick some ass!!! Oh, you mean that.....(Evil Mike quickly slides under the nearest table and Lita follows him)
PM: Ah, crap...I didn't know you'd bring him along. I should've known once I saw him that the ninjas would be no match.
(Jimmy continues to fight the ninjas. Actually, it's just Jimmy. The ninjas have long given up. Beating up helpless people, some hero he is!)
Ninja Floyd: He broke my sword!
Ninja Lyle: Mine too (Holds up his broken sword)
Ninja Carl: Can we just give up now?
Jimmy: No! I'm just getting started! C'mon! It's been ages since I've been in a fight! Those GROPE mugs wouldn't let me!
STG: I heard that!
Cara: You're not in yet. This is none of your concern.
Lita: (Who's voice mysteriously eminates from a table cloth): And who said you were in GROPE?
Jimmy: Really Joe, I'm very dissapoined in you.
STG: Joe? HA!!!!!!!
PM: Excuse me, Mr. Servo the Grinch?
STG: Yay! He knows who I am, kind of....
PM: Yeah, well......Mom liked me best!!!
Cara: We'll be taking that Cow now!
PM: What Cow?
Cow: Mooe.
PM: Oh this?
wurwolf: No! I like him, and he likes me!
PM: Yoink! (Takes the Cow and gives it to Cara)
wurwolf: Hmph! I trusted you!
PM: And now you know you shouldn't! *Phew* I can't believe all you were looking for was the Cow. I thought you wanted to know where Mickey was...I'm so relieved.
Jimmy: Well, now that you mention it....
The Bespectacled Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
Post Narc x3
Yup...Floyd, Lyle and Carl.
#2230
<Lita42 is done...
Date: 06/05/2002
From: Tork_110
listening to the answering machine>
Lita42: Hmm, Tork said he had a bunch of Beany Babies that he was going to give to Nuveena, and that now I can have them.
<thanks for the exposition!>
Lita42: That's so sweet. I really have to thank him.
<Lita42 picks up the phone. She makes a few calls.>
<Later...>
<Several more Lita clones have appeared at Diabolik's Lair.>
Lita42: Attention everyone! You can each have a Beany Baby from this guy's (holds up a picture of Tork (with has been scribbled on)) collection. Several of them are very valuable.
<ACTION SEQUENCE! Several clones make a mad dash for Tork's room and destroy it while searching for some Beany Babies. After that is done, they all leave, except...>
Lita2780: Look what I have!! A kitty.
Lita42: Awwwwww, are you going to name it?
Lita2780: .....................Kitty.
Lita42: That, umm, is a good name.
Lita2780: I love my little Kitty. (hugs it)
Lita42: *sniff*
Lita2780: Do you want to pet Kitty?
Lita42: .....I MISS FLOPSEY!!!
<Lita42 runs off crying.>
Tork_110
Oh great! Now I indirectly caused 42 to cry.
#2231
<Under the table...>
Date: 06/05/2002
From: Carmelita9000
............................................................
<Lita is completely unaware that the cow has changed hands. She's... concentrating on other things at the moment...>
Lita: Hey! Evil Mike!
EM: Yeah? *kiss*
Lita: Check this out!!
EM: ...Oh, wow...
Lita: No, not *that*, you silly! I mean look at the bottom of this table!
EM: Lita... The table is about the last thing I'm interested in looking at right now--
Lita: No! I mean look! This is the very same table we signed aaaaaalllll that time ago!
<Lita poins to some markings on the bottom of the table. You might recognize them from quite a lot of replies ago (It was reply 1922, to be exact) but don't fret if you don't. I'll describe them again. There is something written in dark black ink on the bottom of the table. It's Lita's handwriting. It reads, "L9K + EM 4ever!" There's a heart around it. Then, just below that, carved deeply into the wood, "P.S. Pharaoh Mobius is a big fat doodyhead!!!" And just below that, in Lita's writing again, "Oh, Evil Mike, you goose! Tee-hee!">
Lita: We'd just gotten together when we did that, Evil Mike! Doesn't this bring back memories?
EM: We were so drunk... Yeah... That's awesome, Lita.... Now where were we? *kiss* *kiss*
Lita: I think we should add to it! Don't you think that would be cool?
EM: <seeing Lita's not going to shut up about the stupid table until he agrees> Yeah. Ok, babe. Do your thing.
<Lita takes a Sharpie pen out of her purse and writes "Lita <3 Evil Mike!!" Evil Mike pulls out his knife-- I don't know where he keeps it, but he always seems to have it when he wants it-- and carves in a rather rude statement that raises several questions about PM's gender. Lita giggles.>
Lita: Oh, Evil Mike! You're so clever!
EM: Yep! That's why you want me, Baby!
<Lita giggles some more, and then there's a lot of kissing and... well, I know you don't want to hear about this mushy stuff.>
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
#2232
PM: Oh poopie
Date: 06/06/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
Part 3 Chapter 3.............
They're probably halfway there by now.
wurwolf: Well, if you ask me, you should've shown more resistance instead of telling them where he was.
PM: Hey, do I tell you how to do your job? Nabut, let's get back to America!
Nabut: I'm afraid my lipeachpige, that MSTBlanca can't go. It just can't handle any more lengthy trips right now!
PM: We're stuck, then?
wurwolf: If Schmoe wasn't in the back reading comics, he'd be *so* coming at you with a fork right now.
PM: Nabut, do it!
Nabut: But my pilepeach...
PM: Na but, no buts...I mean, no buts, Nabut. Try and say that ten times fast. I can't miss my greatest triumph over GROPE.
Nabut: Fine...I'll program her and see what she can do.
PM: Good. And stop calling MSTBlanca a girl! He's all man, dammit!!!!
wurwolf: Unlike you, according to this description of you under this table.
************************************************************
Dr. Connery: Kill GROPE...kill them!!!!!
Mickey: No.
Dr. Connery: They're going to kill you if you don't do it first!
Mickey: I hardly believe that.
Dr. Connery: Oh, and all those times Lita sent Evil Mike after you? What was that, a sign of affection?
Mickey: Hey...yeah! Those ingrates! After all I've done for the...hey wait a minute. I see what you're trying to do. You're trying to get me to kill them!
Dr. Connery: In my professional medical opinion, well DUH!!!
************************************************************
Buffalo: Wes ben lahke this fer howrs!
Marvin: And psycho bitch still wants to kill us!
Sunday: It's nothing against you. It's just what I do.
(There's a knock on the door)
Marvin: The hell? We're still in mid air!
Betsy: No, we've been lowered to the ground! We're saved!
Sunday: Says you....(revs up her chainsaw)
Sam: Cram it bitch!
(Everyone looks at Sam)
Sam: Er, I mean mellow out!
Marvin: Well, is someone going to get the door?
Buffalo: Oh! I is so dum sometahmes! (Open the door)
Nick: Hey guys!
Trish: Hello!
Sam: Hey, Nick. Who's that!
Trish: I'm his new girlfriend!
Nick: You are?
Sam: Oh that is not mellow.
The bespectacled Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
Post Narc x3
Heh heh....
#2233
The Penultimate Chapter!!!
Date: 06/10/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
Part 3, Chapter 4.....................
Magic Voice: Security breach! Security breach!
Dr. Connery: Blah! Can't you see I'm in the middle of something here?
Magic Voice: Hey pal, that's none of my concern.
Dr. Connery: Oh, shutup you. Guards! Guards!!!!
Mickey: Yay! They've come to rescue me!!!!
Dr. Connery: Er.....You don't know that. It's probably just some burglar.
Mickey: What the hell does a burglar want here?
Dr. Connery: Will you just shutup and say you'll kill GROPE already?
Mickey: Wha...you're confusing me, Doc. Are you sure you're a professional?
*******************************************************************
(Out in the hallways, Tork, Rimmi, and Gramps are kicking Robot Security Guard ass!!!! Currently, Rimmi has just sliced one in half)
Gramps: Get her poin, whippersnapper?
Tork: Oh will you stop saying that? You've said that every time she's done that!
Rimmi: It's really annoying.
Tork: It's not funny.
Gramps: It's not supposed to be funny.
Rimmi: Well, in that case, they probably do get the poin by now.
Tork: And while we bicker, it's giving the guards plenty of time to gain more ground on us, like that one!!!....that Rimmi just got. You're good!
Rimmi: Thanks!
****************************************************************************
Lita: Oh, it's good to be home!
Jimmy: Now to rescue Mickey.
Evil Mike: We just got here! Let's go to Vegas! Ooooh! Even better! We can go back to Mexico and do that thing under the table again!
Cara: Speaking of Mexico, does anyone notice we left something back there?
Cow: Not mooe, unfortunatly.
Evil Mike: Oh, we *did* forget Servo the Sphinx, didn't we? Heh heh....
(Lita elbows Evil Mike)
Lita: Jimmy, Cara....Why don't you two head back to get him.
Evil Mike: Take the cow with you.
(Lita elbows Evil Mike again)
Evil Mike: Or not.
Jimmy: We'll do it! (Jimmy and Cara leave)
Evil Mike: What a great plan!
Lita: I know. I'm good at this kind of stuff. Now to go get Mickey. I hope STG's okay.
Evil Mike: Yeah, he'll be oka...wha?
Lita: Yeah, that was the plan, for Jimmy and Cara to go get STG.
Evil Mike: Oh...
Lita: Well, what did you think it was?
Evil Mike: I was kind of hoping you'd purposely left STG in Mexico, and then purposely sent those two hanger ons to go get him, and...I don't know, purposely left Cow here to watch, maybe?
Cow: Well, I should hope not!
Lita: That's just plain silly.
Evil Mike: Or is it?
Lita: Welllllllll......ok, no. But after this, we go get Mickey. Understood.
Evil Mike: Hey, no complaints here.
The bespectacled Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
Post Narc x3
Yay!!! I'm getting rescued!!! Maybe......
#2234
Wait... Huh?
Date: 06/10/2002
From: Carmelita9000
............................................................
Evil Mike and I let the cow *watch*???
No way, not this time!
<Lita grabs the cow, puts him in a shoe box, and throws him in the fridge.>
Cow: <kind of muffled> MOOOOOOOO!!! Damoomooit, you stupid bitch!!! You can't do this to mooe!!11!
Lita: Oh, calm down! I'll let you out in... uh... In a little bit. So... Evil Mike? *wink* *wink*
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
#2235
Meanwhile in Mexico...
Date: 06/10/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
A REUNION TAKES PLACE!!!
(wandering the streets of whatever the hell the name of this city is in Mexico, alone... again)
STG: Jeez, just when I'm about to be readded to the story I get ditched in Mexico. I didn't even become a member of GROPE! WHERE THE HELL DO I BELONG!!!
(from the shadows of an alley)
AFLAC: Wherever you belong, you shouldn't scream like that.
Squecky: People might think you're crazy, ya know.
STG: Can it be?
(after a rather short disappearance, ALFAC AND SQUECKY HAVE RETURNED)
STG: YOU TWO! Go away! You tried to spray paint my dead body!
AFLAC: Yeah that's right... Aren't you dead?
STG: If I was dead, could I do this?
(Strangles AFLAC)
STG: How could you do that? Couldn't you have called an ambulance?
Squecky: Don't fight! *sob* *squeck* *sob*
AFLAC: I was to busy rooting through your wallet! (spits in STG's eye)
STG: AAAAAAAAAH! (drops AFLAC)
AFLAC: And take this! (kicks STG's shin)
STG: Oofa! Oh yeah, well take this! (punts AFLAC)
AFLAC: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Squecky: Um, can you guys, like, stop?
STG: Why?
Squecky: Don't we wanna get back into the US?
STG: Sure.
AFLAC: Let's sneak in!
STG: There's no need for that. I have my ID right here to show Border Patrol... Where's my wallet?
AFLAC: Well I was rooting through it, and found no money. So I threw it out. Oopsie...
STG: ALL MY IDENTIFICATION WAS IN THERE!
Squecky: Don't worry, I'm sure they have other ways to let us in.
AFLAC: Yeah, and they all involve anal probes. No thanks.
STG: Hmmm... Anal Probe or break the law...
AFLAC: Is there even a choice?
STG: Hmmm... I guess not. We'll swim across the Rio Grande.
Squecky: I hope the GROPErs don't send anyone to look for us here...
(Meanwhile Jimmy and Cara walk the streets of Mexico)
Jimmy: HELLO!? SERVO THE... um... Cara what's the third part of his name?
Cara: I think it's Grape... Grape Fruit! That's it.
(They both walk into the distance yelling for Servo The Grape Fruit.)
ServoTheGrapeFruit
SHAZAM!
#2236
It's Evil Mike Day
Date: 06/11/2002
From: Tork_110
Today is June 11th, which means it is 6/11. 611 is the episode number for Last Of The Wild Horses, so let's celebrate EM Day.
What's your favorite EM moment? I have to say when EM beat up Jimmy Mobius. Ah, good times.
Tork_110
stares at the knees of the next person to reply
#2237
Tee-hee! Yay Evil Mike!
Date: 06/11/2002
From: Carmelita9000
...........................................................
I can't tell you my favorite Evil Mike moment. Well, actually I *can* but I won't. Children might read this post! And I don't want their mothers to come over here and slap me.
I'll give you a different memory, though. I thought it was funny when Evil Mike blew up Squecky and AFLAC. They survived, (dammit) but you can't blame Evil Mike for trying!
[Lita runs off to drunkenly celebrate with Evil Mike]
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Tork, quit looking at my knees!
Evil Mike's gonna smack you!
#2238
My favorite Evil Mike moment...
Date: 06/12/2002
From: PharaohMobius
<<<Mirror Mirror Mode>>>
My favorite Evil Mike moments would have to be when he'd send small animals on suicide bombing missions, but then he'd forget not to call Lita and warn her. Classic! =)
PM
#2239
Lita: So... Evil Mike....
Date: 06/12/2002
From: Carmelita9000
............................................................
Lita: How was that for a birthday celebration?
EM: Nice!
Lita: *Nice*?
EM: Yeah! Now where's my birthday present?
Lita: That was your birthday present!
EM: What?
Lita: Yeah!
EM: You? What a gyp! I get you all the time!
Lita: Mike!
EM: Er... I mean... uh... Best birthday ever, Babe!
Lita: Yay! Now... Wasn't there something we were supposed to do once we were done doing.... that?
EM: No.
Lita: Yeah. Seems like there was somewhere we were supposed to go. I just can't seem to remember where...
EM: Well, if you forgot what it was, it couldn't have been all that important.
Lita: You sure?
EM: Of course I'm sure! If there's anything that's not important it's Mick-- er... Stuff you forgot.
Lita: Oh wait! I remember!!!
EM: *groan* You do?
Lita: Yeah! Poor Klunky Fizzlebizzle is still in the fridge!!
<Lita runs to free Lord Kinsey Figgybottom the Cow from the fridge, as Evil Mike heaves a sigh of relief. Lita grabs the shoebox and opens it out on a nearby counter. Figgybottom rolls out and moos angrily.>
Cow: Damoon! It's cold in there! Doesn't anybody teach you any mooanners here in Amooerica??
Lita: Sorry, we just wanted a little privacy... you know?
Cow: Blah!!
Lita: *gasp* Lord Fudgypudding! How could you!? <Lita's eyes start to well up with tears>
EM: <Noticing the opportunity to look all manly> Hey! Don't you blah my girlfriend! I kick your little ceramic ass!!
Lita: No, Evil Mike! Don't!
<Evil Mike reaches out to grab the cow, who turns and bits him hard on the thumb.>
EM: GAH!!1!! Ow!11!! Bloody hell!!!
Cow: Ha ha ha! Serves you right, Evil Mooike!
EM: I'm going to give you a right good thrashing!
Lita: The hell? Evil Mike?
EM: What?
Lita: Since when do you have an accent? And is it just me or are your teeth bigger than usual?
<Evil Mike's teeth aren't actually bigger. It's just the way he's curling his upper lip.>
EM: I say, I haven't the faintest idea what you're on about, Luv!
Lita: *gasp!!* Evil Mike! You've turned British! You were bitten by a ceramic figure possessed by the ghost of an English Nobleman, and now you've turned British!!
EM: Good heavens! I do believe you're right!
Lita: Say... Evil Mike... Did I ever tell you that I'm really attracted to guys with foreign accents?
EM: Blimey!
Lita: *giggle*
EM: Is sex all you Americans think about? I would think you'd give a chap a rest once in a while!
Lita: Hey! What do you mean "you Americans"?? You're an American too, Evil Mike!
EM: You colonials *do* come up with the silliest ideas, what? Now why don't you sit down while I go put the kettle on and we can have a nice cuppa tea!
<As Evil Mike gets started with the tea, Lita sits down and pouts, leaning on the counter.>
Lita: Oh well... I suppose this will wear off him sooner or later...
<Lord Kinsey Figgybottom the Cow walks up to her and laughs in her face.>
Cow: Ha ha ha!! This is right hilarious! Serves you right, you mooaniac!
Lita: I don't know why you're in such a grouchy mood all the sudden... I just wanted to spend some quality alone time with Evil Mike--
Cow: <Quietly so only Lita can hear> Quality time, eh? How about this? *loudly* I say, does anybody want to play a game of Scrabble?
<Lita winces>
EM: Brilliant!
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Gah! I hate Scrabble!
How come Mickey didn't turn British that time Figgy bit him?
#2240
In the middle of the Rio Grande...
Date: 06/12/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
We find our trio of something or other, swimming about half way through it. AFLAC and Squecky are sitting on top of STG's head.
Squecky: STG, I have a question.
STG: Yes.
Squecky: Why are we trying to get back into America?
STG: Whaddya mean?
Squecky: Well, aren't we supposed to be looking for Mickey in MEXICO!?
STG: (stops in the middle of the water) Hey, you're right. Why the hell was I trying to sneak back in?
AFLAC: I think it was so we could kill Lita and Evil Mike for ditching us here.
STG: Oh yeah... Well I feel better now.
(later, back in whatever hell Mexican city they were in before.)
STG: (holding a gun in his hand) Boy, I'm glad I cooled down before I had a chance to use this thing. (throws it over his shoulder into the background. You hear it go off and someone scream)
AFLAC: Whelp, let's get a beer.
Squecky: NO! *squeck* Mickey! We need to help him.
AFLAC: Yes, yes, we'll get to that after the beer... *mumbling* if time permits.
STG: Hey, what's going on across the street?
(Across the street it's Dr. Connery's Lab! Through the window you can see Tork and Gramps watching Rimmi kick evil bot butt.)
AFLAC: They look familiar...
STG: Oh it's those other GROPErs! Stupid snobby elitists! Won't let me into their little club. Well, you know what! I'm not gonna help Mickey!
Squecky: Then what are we gonna do?
STG: We're gonna, um... Okay, fine, We'll help them... THIS TIME.
AFLAC: (whining) But what about the drink?
(STG and crew enter the Lab-o-Connery)
In the lobby...
STG: No one's here.
Squecky: They're fighting on the upper floors.
AFLAC: Well, we're on the lower floors. Just right.
STG: Yup.
Squecky: Shouldn't we go, and help?
STG: Hey, if they need our help, all we have to do is walk up the stairs.
AFALC: Sounds good. Let's take a load of on the lobby couch.
(the three sit down. Everything seems okay, until straps shoot out of the seats and tie 'em up.)
AFLAC: This isn't necesarry. I know how to sit in a chair without falling out.
(From the ceiling a big television screen comes down with McMahon's face on it)
McMahon: Ha! I knew you lazy loads would sit there! So I made it into a trap! HA! (the couch begins to hover out of the room) Now it will take you to the HORRIBLE EXPERIMENTATION ON LIVING SUBJECTS LAB! HA HA HA, HIYO, HA HA HA HA HA HA *cough* HA HA HA! Enjoy.
AFLAC: Whatever, just no anal probes!
STG: Help! HELP! HEEEEELLLLLLPPPPPP!!!!!!!! Oh, save me, St. Larry Csonka!
Squecky: Well, *squeck*, I guess...
ServoTheGreat
Trying to reply less...
#2241
PM: What the hell?
Date: 06/13/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
Part 3 Chapter 5.........
(PM looks to where the asuylum was and there's now a big gaping hole)
PM: Where? Where?
Repo Guy: He wasn't paying his mortgage. We picked the whole damn thing up and moved it to Mexico.
wurwolf: Why didn't you just evict him?
Repo Man: Hey, what do I look like, one of them real estate jerks? (Puts his cigarette out and leaves)
PM: Nabut, Mexico, Now!!!!
Nabut: All you have to do is look around MSTBlanca, my Glpeach, and you'll see why I'm not going to do that.
Schmoe: Whoa, looks like the Hulk ran through here.
PM: *Sigh*
wurwolf: You know, you're not as evil as I hoped.
************************************************************
Lita: What the hell was that?
Cow: A triple word score, that's what it is!
Lita: Kwyjibo?
Cow: Why not?
Evil Mike: I say, what the devil is that? (poins)
Cow: A big dumoob balding North Amoorican ape with no chin.
Evil Mike: No,....that.
Lita: It looks like part of that creepy building that was near our hideout.
Evil Mike: What in the world is it doing on the back of that truck?
Lita: I don't know. We should follow it.
(A short while later....)
Lita: AHHHH!!!! It's that creepy building!!!!
Cow: In Mooxico?
Evil Mike: Well, I say....
Lita: No you don't. We should check this out.
************************************************************
Rimmi: The hell? There's just way too many of them! (Wastes another robot with her sword)
Tork (Sees Gramps walker and takes it away): Yoink!
Gramps: You crazy whipp-(falls down)
Rimmi: What the hell was that for?
Tork: He's been holding out on us! How does this thing work?
Gramps: I've fallen and I can't get up!! (Can you believe this rp is almost 10 months old, and that's the first time we've used that?)
Tork: Gramps?
Gramps: Fine. Just wave it over your head and say "No Robots...bwoop bwoop."
(Tork does just that. The robots go away)
Gramps: Good, now say "No guys in Robot Costumes, bwoop bwoop"
Tork: You're pushing me old man.
Rimmi: Help him out and stop acting like children....Hey! It's Servo the...Servo The...that guy! What's he doing here?
Tork: Well, flying, apparently.....
Rimmi: Let me climb on your shoulders....
Tork: Ugh. okay. (Gets down and let's Rimmi climb on his shoulders)
Rimmi: OK, now....are you looking at my ass?
Tork: Er......no.
Rimmi: Ok. Hey Servo! Hey cute little animal guys! Don't take this personally, but...(starts slashing her sword at the couch)
STG: GAH!!!!!!!!
AFLAC: I love you Squecky!!
Squecky: Shutup.
(Rimmi undoes the straps and STG, Squecky and AFLAC fall to the floor. The couch crashes into the wall)
AFLAC: Squecky! Are you ok?
Squecky: Stay away from me!
STG: So is, Mickey here or what?
Gramps: After all the crap I've been through here, I would hope so.
************************************************************
Mickey: So, I guess I should kill GROPE then.
Dr. Connery: Exactly!!!
Mickey: I mean, why not? I've got nothing better to do?
Dr. Connery: Right....now about this nasty habit of you saying poin.....
************************************************************
Lita: Something's going on here, and I don't like it.
Evil Mike: Forget about it, love. It's probably nothing.
Cow: He's right. Mooaybe just some evil scientific experimoonts going on involving brainwashing people to go after their friends.
Evil Mike: Yeah, what I said, nothing.
Lita: Evil Mike? Is that you?
Evil Mike: It better be. I can't stand you seeing some limey behind my back.
Lita: I've got an idea.
Evil Mike: Yeah, me too, Let's go...
Lita: In a few minutes, but first....(Gets something out of her purse)
Evil Mike: My remote!
Lita: Yup. (Hey! Where does Evil Mike keep those animals anyway? A question to think about as soon as thousands of small animals start marching towards the asuylum)
Evil Mike: I need to call someone. Can I borrow your phone?
Lita: No.
************************************************************
Rimmi (Looking out the window): Uh oh...we better leave.
Gramps: Oh yeah. Carry me.
STG: Absolutly not!
Gramps: You want to be in GROPE or not, whippersnapper?
STG: Fine. (STG picks Gramps up, Tork grabs the other end, and they run out of the asuylum)
Tork: What about Mickey?
Rimmi: He probably isn't even in there.
(They run out just in time)
(BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!)
The bespectacled Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
Post Narc x3
So am I dead? Geez....
#2242
Epilogue......
Date: 06/13/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
Becuase I don't want to be dead.
Lita: My God, it's....it's horrible.
Evil Mike: Really? Maybe you're looking at it wrong.
Rimmi: Is everybody ok?
Lita: Well, no one in that building, probably.
Evil Mike: Hey, I tried to call.
Tork: Hey, look, that one pile of rubble is moving.
(They all drop everything and run toward it. Ouch, Gramps!)
STG: Let's dig it out!
(Everybody helps moving planks of wood. Mickey finally emerges.)
Mickey: Ugh.....
Lita: Mickey! Are you ok?
Mickey: I don't know....I don't remember anything about the last month.
Cow: Especially any hypnoptic suggestions?
Mickey: What the hell are you talking about?
Lita: OK, everybody. Load Gramps into Spidey and let's all go home.
Tork: Well congratulations Evil Mike...you finally killed people with the animals. (Poins at the lifeless bodies of Dr. Connery and McMahon)
Evil Mike: Oh yeah! Go me! Go me! It's my birthday! Speaking of which (Punches Mickey)
Mickey: Ow! What the hell?
Evil Mike: I can't believe you forgot!
Rimmi: Well, he was kind of busy.
Evil Mike: That should be no excuse.
(They all leave in Spidey)
Squecky: (Crawls out of the rubble) AFLAC? AFLAC? AFFY?! I'm FREE!! I'M FREE!!!
AFLAC: (Climbs out of the rubble) AFLAC!!!!
Squecky: Damn
MTG etc.
So wait? What about Buffalo and the rest? Well, you don't have to wrap up every part of the story in a continuing rp, sillies!
Next up: Less Mickey
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